his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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