we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
