haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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