3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
