Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
