If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We're too hungover to prance.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
