I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
