the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
