Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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