does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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