he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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