I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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