I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
