When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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