I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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