Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
