he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
