Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
