No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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