I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
