Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
