She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
