Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
