He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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