Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
