You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
