brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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