Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
