dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
