small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
