She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
