this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
