I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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