she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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