and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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