He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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