I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
