umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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