Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
