Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
