she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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