You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
whose parrot is this?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
