someone get that fucking seahorse.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
