So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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