i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Randomize
