shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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