yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
