She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
