That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
