I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this just has baby written all over it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
