I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
